My First Documentary Experience

In January of 2020, I went to Liberia with a team of seven. As the Director of Photography, I felt responsible for capturing the entire film and making it as beautiful as possible. As a result, I was putting a lot of stress and anxiety on myself, mostly since I was the only freshman in the group.

This taught me that it is just as important to experience the story unfold and capture the experience. In my second year of learning film, I can see how much I have grown since then, but I can also see that I did not need to fear. I need to rest in God and trust that he will help me tell the stories that need to be told.

My Testimony

 This is my story //

I was first exposed to pornography when I was six-years-old. I do not remember the things that went through my head, but what I do remember is that I associated it with being a man. When I was fourteen, I started to explore my sexuality and found internet pornography. The guilt and shame were unbearable, but at the same time, it kept calling me back. Over and over again. After a few months of struggling, I confided in my parents to respond with understanding and care. My parents got me internet filters and everything but only a month went by, and I relapsed utterly. Feeling so much shame after retreating even though my parents had tried to help, I decided to keep it inside and not tell anyone...

-Three years pass-

In 2017, God was putting in place the things I needed to get out of this addiction. I was viewing pornography multiple times a week, but something was changing. I had was invited to a Bible study with my pastor, and it eventually became just the pastor and me meeting weekly to discuss life and the Bible. Through those meetings, I fell in love with scripture and started reading daily. During this time, I was preparing for my first trip to the Dominican Republic. While in the DR, I felt called to tell my other pastor about my addiction and ask for help. I did, and through that, I went 186 days of being porn-free. In January 2018, I relapsed, and like my fourteen-year-old self, I hid in shame. For the next few months, I could not get out of this hole. I couldn't help but feel like God was somehow disgusted by me. He wasn't. 

I felt like this was who I was. When porn called, I had to answer. Honestly, I felt broken. The thing is, I was unfixable. The thing about Scripture and Jesus is that we aren't told that He will fix us. We are made new in Him. In the Dominican Republic, God gave me my heart for missions, and by finding my identity in him, I can no longer see my character in my addiction. I am now 150 days of being porn-free, and I am made new. I feel like a completely different person than I did when I achieved 186 days of porn free.

I want to tell my story because it takes power away from the enemy. Nothing can grow in the dark, and I believe we must tell each other about our imperfections and sins, especially on social media, where the norm is to create an image of perfection. I want to comfort people who are struggling with this, just as God has comforted me.

Feel free to share my journey with others who may need to hear it.

Sojourners of Today

We have nothing that He has not given to us, and our attitude toward possessions should bear this in mind.” It reminds me that I need to be more thankful for the things that I have and that I need to be more generous to those who do not have what I have, whether that is putting in the time to help them grow or to give to organizations that help those in destitute.

Rainy Day in the Dominican Republic

In 2017, my brother and I traveled to the middle of the Dominican Republic alone. It was one of the most memorable experiences and our first time feeling genuinely independent. There was a day where we were visiting friends from a village in the mountains, and it began to rain on us. These are frames from that day.